Dearest Raina,
My mind is spinning in circles and I still cannot believe the half of what I have learned. But first, forgive me for not writing sooner. Know that I was desperate to come to you or at the least encourage you but I have found little time for writing and even if I had had the time my thoughts were and still are so tangled that I am not certain I can put them on paper. I am proud of you for doing all you can to save Ranger and I have full confidence in your abilities. Just keep at it and something will work out.
There, now I can relay to you the happenings of late and their rather dramatic effect on my state of mind.
Sol has been awfully silent lately and I can't get more than two words out of him in a whole day. I almost believe he has given up trying to teach me anything and is now just content to watch me screw up my life. But whatever the case, I almost miss his chattering. We do make a lot more mistakes without his advice to guide us. If I were asked what lesson I should be learning right now I would have to admit that I am learning to value his wisdom.
With Sol's silence, Gi and I have had many opportunities to converse and I have rather enjoyed it. But strangely enough to myself, I find no traces of my previous infatuation. Oh, and Raina, the burning is gone. I don't know why or how but he seems really normal now. Everything is normal now. It's almost like he's... different. When I mention our training and quarrels back in Warrior Training he goes silent and doesn't want to talk about it. But this is all speculation. Back to the story.
We were riding along on some not so legally taken horses from the stable of Y'ata. Silence reigned and I let my thoughts roam. They didn't wander far before I let out a small cry of dismay. Sol and Gi looked back at me and as I wheeled my horse around they followed my lead. What had caused my cry was the remembrance of Zel. Zel was the original reason for our going to the Tower of Deth and yet we had been so engrossed in our escape that we had entirely forgotten her. I yelled this over my shoulder to Gi and Sol and Sol echoed my cry while Gi asked who this Zel was. Sol explained in a few words and we hurried our speed. We rushed along, fearful that Y'ata would remember what we had forgotten and beat us back to the Tower.
Luck was with us and the Tower was empty. Completely empty. And to our utter astonishment, the only room resembling a prison was the one in which Sol and I had been kept. But we searched the Tower through and through eventually turning up with nothing more than rumbling stomachs and endless questions.
As the sun dozed off behind the tree tops, we made camp a mile or so off from the Tower. There was more silence than usual as we pondered on the meaning of the empty Tower. It could be possible that Y'ata had taken her somewhere else, as a bargaining means, but I couldn't see why. He had accomplished his goal in getting me there and surely M'oren's daughter was not that important.
Sol had gone to bed and Gi and I sat around the small fire, each engrossed in our thoughts. it was Gi that first spoke, as I sat in astonishment at what he revealed.
"I'taira," He spoke as if he were struggling with the words and I listened carefully. "I think I remember Zel." He closed his eyes and his forehead was scrunched as he struggled to remember. "There was an old woman and her daughter. They came to the King sometime last year. I think I was there. The woman mentioned that her daughter's name was Zel and that Y'ata had sent them. Y'ata sent people to the King often and the King always accepted them. I was dismissed but I remember hearing that Zel was to stay in the Palace at a given time." He trailed off mumbling a few more things. "I'm sorry, I don't seem to remember much." He smiled ruefully and ran his hands through his thick hair.
I stared into the flames as I tried to piece together what Gi said. I didn't doubt Gi's honesty but I couldn't think of a possible reason for M'oren going to the Palace and at Y'ata's request or command no less. To tell you the truth, I don't know the path my thoughts led but the conclusion they came to was not a pleasant one.
I quizzed Gi some more and he admitted to seeing Zel in the Palace just three weeks ago and M'oren at the Tower during one of the King's visits.
As these thoughts fit into place my hands began to shake and Gi's concern rose for me. I really do not know how my emotions got the better of me but the tears began to run and Gi held me as the sobs shook my body. I had been fooled all along. Of course M'oren didn't find me on accident and didn't just happen to need the Top Warrior to save her daughter. It was a ruse all along. Her daughter was never kidnapped. And Luc must have been in on it all along. He made up the whole pity story about Emlyn to gain my trust! Maybe he didn't even have a sister. And then my thoughts turned to Sol. What about Sol! He was M'oren's brother and he had also turned up so opportunely!
The betrayal hurt me and I continued to fit the pieces together. Luc didn't try hard enough to stop me from battling Y'ata. Benk must have known that M'oren was in cahoots with the King and Y'ata and he had been the good one trying to warn me!
I really curse myself for not seeing these things sooner. It would have saved a whole lot of pain and trouble.
And Luc! I have let myself trust him so fully! On my lance he is a good actor! He fooled you along with me. And now he must be gaining Benk and I'talia's trust while all the while leading them to Y'ata. How could I have been so blind Raina!
I spilled my thoughts to Gi and understanding came to his eyes as he pieced the happenings together. He couldn't help but acquiesce. But he did protest as to Luc. He claims he has never seen a man with M'oren and Zel and he keeps reminding me that had Luc been in cahoots with the King, there would have been no better time to turn Benk and I'talia over than when they had been captured. There would have been no reason to escape.
I am almost entirely certain that M'oren and Zel have been in league with Y'ata all along but I'm not sure about Luc. I would like to believe that he is totally ignorant of their schemes but it seems so improbable.
I'm sorry. My mind is still spinning. I don't know what to do about Sol. He does not seem to be making any trouble now and I can't claim that I know for certain that he is not trying to help us. Gi and I have decided to keep our suspicion hidden and just keep him under tabs. I just hope that doesn't lead to our downfall.
Oh Raina! Why does everyone seem to be against us!? I feel as if the entire world is bent on our destruction and we just keep running to stay alive. I want to stay and fight but I can't do it alone and I don't know who will be with me or who will turn and stab me in the heart.
Be wary my dearest. I am glad you have Ranger with you. And I am glad I have Gi with me. It seems my truest friends are the ones that started out as my enemies.
We continue to search for Benk and the Princess. We will deal with Luc when we find him. I can only hope that he has not led them astray and if he has he will have me to deal with. I will not stand for being on the defensive any longer. I am making a list of my enemies and I will hunt them down and stop them! I will not run any longer! I am sick and tired of being held up in prison. I am sick and tired of being betrayed. I am getting nowhere with the rebellion and Y'ata and the King are winning by keeping me away from the people. Raina, find out what the rebellion is up to and by my lance if they are doing anything worthwhile, join in! We must do something!
Oh, and a bit of happy news for your romantic mind. It seems Benk and the Princess I'talia have a bit of an understanding between themselves. I never would have thought it but Gi says they are quite close and he does not find it at all surprising that I'talia should betray her brother for Benk. Apparently I'talia is not too fond of Gioto. Maybe she can help us somehow.
Your deeply betrayed sister,
I'taira
